Peter Jackson’s King Kong is too long

Now that all the 2005 holiday blockbusters that I cared about are on DVD, I still can’t find time to watch them. How do the creators of these movies expect me to find time to watch these with my schedule?

On our 2005 Christmas vacation with my wife’s family we planned to have one of the many family members available babysit Toddler_o_Geek while we enjoyed a movie in a real theater, a privilege we only enjoyed once since ToG was born. The three movies we wanted to see, King Kong, Harry Potter and Narnia, were all super long, pushing up to 3 hours. No nighttime showings jived with our out to dinner then chaotically put kid to bed, we’ll be home by 2 AM schedule.

We finally went to a matinee of Narnia, the movie was great (I really enjoyed C.S. Lewis’ series when I was a kid, my wife read the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe before we saw the movie and wasn’t too impressed), the movie theater and its audience were terrible. We had every bad movie going experience down: So crowded the only seats available were under the back-most left surround speaker (so while everybody else got to listen to the main characters deliver their witty and pithy plot driving lines we got to hear Cheetah #16 tell Satyr #7 that he thought the Witch’s hair looked a bit "overdone and frozenish"), someone still had their cellphone on and answered it multiple times, the stadium seats were filled hysterically crying kids younger than the one we left at home and my buttered popcorn gave me diabetes (not really, but I bet that bucket was thinking about it).

We haven’t made it out to a theater since and don’t have much desire to endure our fellow audience members again (funny how this hostile mob is idealized by the MPAA into your best friend that laughs and cries with you during the movie and you can never have that same experience in your home theater, thank you for small favors).

Today, King Kong saw release on DVD and I’m sure I will rent it, ask my wife if she feels like staying up till midnight, she’ll answer no, and I’ll return it untouched. We did recently watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, intending to spread it over two nights, but then just stayed up through the end. There is hope, I just wish movies could be edited down to a length to put me in bed by 10 PM, not 1 AM.

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