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Archive for the ‘Otaku Illustrated Archive’ Category

Some of my favorite posts from Otaku Illustrated

Thursday, March 23rd, 2006

The preceding posts are the best from my old anime themed zine site, Otaku Illustrated from 1998-99. Enjoy.

Popularity: 6% [?]

Playstation Killed the Anime Star - Metal Gear Solid Action Figures are More Appealing than the Next Gundam Reincarnation

Friday, February 19th, 1999

Toys! You like to pose their arms and legs, turn their heads, aim their guns and slash their swords. With more points of articulation than you can count, today’s toys are more appealing than the static, fixed pose statues that they are replacing. We are moving forward with toys making intelligent decisions regarding artful sculpting of details versus poseability.

Continue reading Playstation Killed the Anime Star - Metal Gear Solid Action Figures are More Appealing than the Next Gundam Reincarnation

Popularity: 23% [?]

Cheating’s Cheap Thrill - I Cannot Believe GameShark Erased My Gran Turismo Save

Wednesday, February 17th, 1999

Oh no, six zombies, including two fat cops and a hooker, are backing Leon, the Raccoon Police Department’s newest and last member, into a corner of the under siege police station. Grabbing at his holster he draws his inadequate 9mm and pops off some shots into the incoming undead. Blood bursts and flows from the blooming chest wounds but the flesh-eating monsters are not falling down. Leon pulls off his last round and you press the O button for the inventory screen, no bullets left, only a knife and lighter at your disposal. Looks like it is time to hit the dreaded Reset button on the top of your Playstation. You have played this same scenario ten times now and you are losing hope that you can help Leon defeat the Umbrella hordes. Resident Evil 2 is earning its dusty grave under the TV along with all the other black CDs that you got stuck on and did not feel like starting over again. You could never earn your A license in Gran Turismo, defeat the enemy forces at "Golgorand Execution Site" in Final Fantasy Tactics or bring down Metal Gear Solid’s teleporting Ninja. Maybe I am just projecting. Continue reading Cheating’s Cheap Thrill - I Cannot Believe GameShark Erased My Gran Turismo Save

Popularity: 12% [?]

Cutting Corners for the Sake of Anime - Determining a Quality Presentation vs. a Slide Show

Thursday, January 28th, 1999

Your eyes will bleed when you watch Studio Ghibli’s Mononoke Hime. Slobber will dribble down your chin and pool in your lap as you marvel at the full on CGI three point perspective action scenes. The arid magical forests of ancient Japan flawlessly rendered in the extravagant backgrounds will make you reach out your shaking hand for that world beyond the movie screen. Ghibli can create more emotion and human empathy out of 2D cartoon characters than Oscar has awarded in the last 50 years. Mind-bendingly fluid animation supporting humankind’s most difficult moral battles set in familiar alien worlds is the Studio’s trademark. Every production they release is an instant classic including Naussica, Laputa, Kiki’s Delivery Service, Porco Rosso, My Neighbor Totoro and the aforementioned Mononoke Hime to name a few. This is anime in its purest form. Ghibli is the benchmark that all other feature length anime should be judged.

Continue reading Cutting Corners for the Sake of Anime - Determining a Quality Presentation vs. a Slide Show

Popularity: 38% [?]

Otaku’s Shame - Hiding Your Hobbies to Bag a Babe

Friday, August 14th, 1998

Otakus’ troubles with members of the opposite sex have plagued them since the dawn of information. This stereotypical attribute overshadows any of the good traits associated with the obsessive hobby of collecting useless trivia and merchandise.

Continue reading Otaku’s Shame - Hiding Your Hobbies to Bag a Babe

Popularity: 18% [?]

Realistic vs. Real - A Mecha Otaku’s Journal

Wednesday, August 12th, 1998

In an episode of Martian Successor Nadesico Akito Tenkawa, the series’ heartthrob cook and Aestivalis pilot, is admiring the handiwork of Seiya Uribatake, the Nadesico’s lead mecha mechanic and resident model kit otaku. Akito compliments him on how realistic his snow covered 1:35 scale Aestivalis battle scene diorama is, despite Seiya’s recent change of heart towards the enemy. The mecha otaku explains how he knows the difference between real and realistic. Both men are contemplative and not to let the scene end on a sour note Yurika, the ship’s lovestruck and goofy captain, shows up holding 1:8 scratch builds of herself with deflated breasts and Ruri with enhanced womanly features. She interrogates the otaku on how these can be realistic and demands that they be remade more accurately. The scene ends with her breaking the arm off her own modeled likeness by accident. Baka. Continue reading Realistic vs. Real - A Mecha Otaku’s Journal

Popularity: 37% [?]

Sacrifice the Star for the Satellites - Devouring Blind Licensing

Monday, July 13th, 1998

When I was an adolescent I would tag along with my mother while she ran her errands. As she shopped for staples I resigned myself to the grocery store’s entertainment aisle. I would check out the latest mass-market novel releases searching for any movie adaptations usually by the overworked Alan Dean Foster. This was the only way I could experience many of the movies at the time like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Aliens and Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. They would always rush these books to market so you would be lucky enough to read the director’s cut with various scenes dropped from the theatrical release. Second to these novelizations were the “limited edition” poster magazines with their fold out wall coverings, production shots, actor profiles and special effects secrets. When forced to make a choice I would always pick the novel over the magazine because it contained more content, but I would study the poster rag so I could successfully visualize the scenes and characters of the film that I would not see until its release on HBO.

Continue reading Sacrifice the Star for the Satellites - Devouring Blind Licensing

Popularity: 12% [?]

Vision of Escaflowne - Anime TV Series Analysis - Fate and Luck

Thursday, May 21st, 1998

The Divining Pendant

(Major Spoilers Ahead!)

It is a wonder that I am still alive.

Throughout most of my childhood and adolescence a divining pendant determined my health. Whenever I would come down with something as simple as a cold or as complicated and mysterious as a thyroid infection every Valentine’s Day, my mother would solicit the help of her New Age guru Don. Based upon my birth date, name and a physical possession of mine he would psychically prescribe exact daily dosages of vitamins and herbal remedies. A divining pendant (a New Age crystal on the end of a chain) that I assume would point to the right drugs for the cure amplified his psychic ability. If you are detecting a hint of skepticism you would not be far off. However, the fact remains that I was never sick long and I have a relatively clean bill of health considering that I can count on my hands how many times I have made an office visit to a conventional doctor in my 26 years. Am I lucky or is there some method to the madness of the divining pendant prescriptions? What is luck? How is this fate determined? Is it controllable?

Continue reading Vision of Escaflowne - Anime TV Series Analysis - Fate and Luck

Popularity: 92% [?]

Vision of Escaflowne - Anime TV Series Analysis - Gender Roles

Thursday, May 21st, 1998

Knights Scream, Princesses Cry

(Major Spoilers Ahead!)

Anime, with all its progressive ventures into the future of humanity, cannot get past the stereotypical gender roles required to add up to a romantic adventure’s sum. The audience must feel the pain and yearning that the lead female romantic interest feels as she waits and prays for her man who is off in the war. The man of war or knight expects his woman or princess to be home praying for his safe return. The princess is expected to breakdown under the overwhelming will of the knight. She can only provide support through prudent advice and the warm memories she has left her knight to think of in his darkest times. The woman must maintain a good and virtuous face for the common people so as not to alarm them to the knight’s hardships. It is an accepted notion that the knight will feel angry and get caught up in the overblown tempers of war screaming his way to victory while the princess will tend to domestic issues and go to bed crying every night when she receives bad news from the front lines.

At least that is what conventional epic romances strive for.

Continue reading Vision of Escaflowne - Anime TV Series Analysis - Gender Roles

Popularity: 16% [?]

Nodding Off in School - How to Magically Transport Yourself to Another Dimension

Friday, May 1st, 1998

Your butt is falling asleep from the hard plastic chair you have to sit in while you try to listen to the finer details of today’s lesson on acute triangles. Eyelids droop around the classroom due to the drudgery of math. The sleepiness is contagious, and you soon find yourself drifting off. You dream about your high school crush eating lunch with you in the cafeteria - corn dogs and crinkle fries. In the middle of lunch and when you’re about to kiss your crush with a mouth full of dog on a stick you wake yourself up with your own snoring. The math class is still there, with its dry erase board, outdated computer terminal, bespeckled instructor and bored class. Somehow, you are surprised that you did not wake up into an anime dimension fantasy complete with familiar yet fantastic princesses, dragon to slay with your giant mecha suit of armor and a world to save with your newly awakened superpowers.Anime characters may act surprised when they are magically transported to some shadow dimension, but we know that they have to expect it the whole time because it has happened so many times to fellow classmates and peers. If I was an anime private school student that had a tendency to drift off into sleep or faint away at the slightest over expenditure of energy I would definitely want a dimension jumping friend.

Continue reading Nodding Off in School - How to Magically Transport Yourself to Another Dimension

Popularity: 8% [?]