Geek with Family

I would always come home from my fellow ninja’s house with grass stains on my back. My gai would get stained from my friend and his little brother using me as their judo throw pillow. As a ninja in training, I had little defense against their arm wrenching flips and throws. My friend would effortlessly use my own weight against me to leave me on the dewy lawn, then his brother would tug at my sore and crumpled body for the next self-defense maneuver. After they got bored with their rag doll, the three of us would retreat inside for some Donkey Kong on Colecovision, a popping and helicopter ridden breakdancing session, and some Knight Rider.

Continue reading Ninja on a Green Machine - Fifth Graders Shouldn’t be Practicing Judo

Popularity: 9% [?]

A sensitive, clockwork knight; an innocent, prepubescent, heir to great weapons of unwieldy and unimaginable power, a hermit scientist/wizard, a washed up mercenary, and a busty thief all thrown together against the faceless shadows of evil and their monstrous henchmen. Battle Chasers, Joe Madureira’s jump into creator owned publishing, pulls all the most loved themes from Japanese RPGs into the pages of a comic. And did the comic industry ever need this genre explored! RPGs are so analogous to comics that comic creators should be kicking themselves in the pants for not thinking of this sooner. I can’t wait until the rogue’s gallery of Battle Chasers take their first ride in an airship, call upon spirits kept in precious gems embedded in weapons and armor to vanquish an enemy boss or grow tired of the endless random battles that they must endure just to build some experience and earn some cash. I anticipate that every Square or Capcom plotline and original inventive device will be exploited by the folks at Image. But who cares? Battle Chasers is still well worth the $2.50 simply because it is completely unoriginal, it gives the fans what they want–familiarity.

Continue reading A Plot So Common It’s Like Coming Home - Familiarity in RPGs

Popularity: 10% [?]

Back in the mid-eighties, my home town only had one, short-lived toy store. It was a typical store for the time with a moderate selection of RPGs, overpriced action figures, cool Go Bots models (recasts of Mospeda kits), and super-balls. Like so many other small toy stores at the time it would be run out of business by Toys ’R’ Us and Kay Bee in just a few years. I would stop by the place a few times a week while my mother and I ran grocery errands (this trip would also include the local drug store where I could stock up on all my favorite Marvel comics) and check if they had any new Car Wars accessories or GIJoes. These items were really of secondary interest to me, though. My primary concern was behind the counter.

Continue reading Soft-Air Blowing Through My Hair - Shooting Your Best Friend in the Face

Popularity: 27% [?]

Last week’s Seinfeld presented the self-referential concept of leaving on a high note. The joke centered around George sharing one good sarcastic comment at a meeting and then extinguishing its good humor with a descent into tastelessness. Jerry suggests he go out on a high note, like the great showmen of years past. This plan succeeds to a point. It is an idea that more franchises in the entertainment industry should take to heart. It happens all too often that a once grandly marketable entertainment giant gets overexposed and watered down to the point of self-destruction.

Continue reading Strangling the Life Out of Your Obsessions - One Encore Too Many

Popularity: 9% [?]

(Major Spoilers Ahead!)

My first exposure to Mamoru Oshii’s movies was over my shoulder. While working at Golden Age Collectibles in Seattle, WA, the staff and I would preview selections from our library of anime imports on a TV behind the register. These weren’t translated at all, just straight Japanese so we would turn the sound down in favor of the older staff’s lame CD selections, like Annie Lennox. Because I was supposed to be working and not watching TV the whole movie of Patlabor 1: Mobile Police was just like the opening credits–fading in and out of black, with murky cut scenes in between. With these short, random glances, I took Patlabor to be some military mecha bore-fest full of foreign talking heads. I was almost right, this film didn’t exactly fit into my anime-action ideal at the time, which involved teenage biker gangs with telekinetic powers (Akira, if you can’t guess).

Continue reading Mamoru Oshii’s Ghost in the Shell, Patlabor 1 and 2 - The Coup Trilogy - Anime Analysis

Popularity: 19% [?]

I love Toyfare magazine. I look forward to it coming out every month with its hilarious talking toys, informative Chop Shop how-to’s, and hot news. The biggest appeal it offers me is a nostalgic reminder of the cool toys I had when I was little. Throughout the price guide they feature the comic book or animated origins of character toys. In the latest issue they pictured the Transformer’s Jetfire.

I read these letters that people write in complaining to Toyfare about not being able to find the right toys because of exclusives or hoarding, it’s not like the old days. Maybe I lived in a lame part of the country but I could never find the toys I wanted when I was little. I would hop from Skaggs to Pay N Save to Fred Meyer to Kmart to the little overpriced toyshop in the mall and I still would never find the one GIJoe or Star Wars I needed to complement my collection. Somehow my younger next door neighbor always got the toys I needed like he (or his parents) was always one step ahead of me. He had an amazing Transformers collection that included Jetfire. I’m not sure where the manufacturing origins of the Transformers line of toys started. Hasbro must have licensed or stolen some designs from Japanese toys.

Since the Shogun Warriors, especially the die-cast series it has been increasingly easy to spot domestic imports. When Robotech was popular on TV you could find many toys and models from the show other than the lame Matchbox license. The ultimate example is Jetfire. This diecast and plastic piece of toy engineering genius was an exact replica of a Valkyrie that could transform from jet to guardian to robot. I remember it being heavier than most toys and this would make your arm tired when you flew it around the room. When you needed to transform it in midflight you would do so expertly with the patented Transformers sound effect: “Ke-ka-ko-ko-ku.” Years later when the Transformers’ (or maybe it was GoBots) popularity was dwindling they licensed out some non-existent robots to some model company like Monogram. It turns out that these were recasts of the transforming motorcycle and jet from the Mospeda series, a cool find when you’re yearning for any anime merchandise you can get. More recent examples are Bandai’s Beetleborg and Power Ranger series. These two toy lines may seem lame now, but if I was a little kid again the Beetleborg Metallix dressup armor and weapon action figures would be top-notch. So be on the look out for domestic imports, you never know where they might pop up.

Popularity: 8% [?]

In past Fanatical Visions I have taken cheap shots at otaku who practice the art form of cosplay. I apologize for this and realize that it was small-thinking to make fun of a valid fan’s creativity just because it is something I don’t have much interest in participating in now or in the future. Now that I’m forced to search my memory I realize that I was an avid cosplayer (I hope I’m using this word correctly, it was introduced to me through a Club OI member’s email) up until just 7 years ago. Continue reading That Capgun is No Blaster - Memories of Childhood Cosplay

Popularity: 6% [?]

I have always sucked at video games. In fact, I have never beat one. On average I am extremely lucky to get to the second level of the game on the easy setting. FMV special ending cinemas are not a treat I’m destined to see any time in the near future.

Because of my fear of closure and death I always give up on the game in the middle of the very last level. Falling for all the traps in the last castle of Legend of Zelda, I give up. Unable to beat the queen-alienesque uber-boss in Phantasy Star, I give up. After 40+ hours of wasted Saturdays roleplaying my way through Final Fantasy III (VI), I give up on the last maze, not even coming close to teleporting to the boss. I can’t win, my fear overrides my desire or hope for a sense of accomplishment.

Continue reading I Beat a Video Game! - I Just Wasted 20 Hours of my Life!

Popularity: 7% [?]

It doesn’t take much to convince me to buy a "collectible." Even less persuasion is needed when it comes to the purchase of an anime item. The most far-fetched rationalizations will push me to blow my food money on a book, model, trading cards, video or whatever. It’s insane and I think I have a problem. Continue reading It’s Rare? I’m Sold! - Why my Credit Card Bill is so High

Popularity: 6% [?]

Byron was the second biggest nerd in middle-school. His two best friends held the first and third place spots. He didn’t have much going for him in the first place, actually he had almost everything against him. He was overweight, had a C-3PO accent, wore oxford dress shirts with saggy slacks, and had a teacher for a mom. All these things added up to one fatal flaw: an overwhelming interest in role-playing games. Continue reading His Parent’s Basement - The GM that Ruined RPGs

Popularity: 10% [?]